Women, Girls and Vulnerability

This past week was a large celebration and I had the opportunity to connect with many women from differing seasons of life. I felt hugely grateful for the opportunity this community provides me to listen and share with other women. International Womens Day is a great platform for listening to tales of courage, how women are overcoming resistance and the commitment they have to make change in their own lives or the lives of others. There was though, a constant thread or trait that I noticed throughout the week, whether it was in small groups or at large gatherings, even in my own intimate friendships or with the high school students and that was:

Feeling secure and safe enough to express our vulnerability.

I have written that sentence and stared at it for the longest time – I immediately think of the Brene Brown powerful TED talk about how much we resist vulnerability. As I reflected the week, I thought about the interactions from the various events for IWD.  There was much acknowledgement and discussion about brave subjects, breakthroughs and journeys to success. Sometimes  we only scratched the surface and other times, individual vulnerability was bravely displayed. The female pilot who shared with me that she realised that she needs more connection with women and that being vulnerable has been difficult in an all male arena.  The high school students who were willing to seek advice on a difficult and in particular a young woman who emotionally shared her struggle.

It made me think about my own issues in being vulnerable. I find this very difficult. In Stan Tatkins book, Wired For Love his definitions of relationship styles, a wave, an island and an anchor, I acknowledge that I can lean toward being an island.  Going it alone or moving away from people when I hurt or feel scared or am in a shame storm is my MO.

I like to think that I create a space for others to be vulnerable if thats what someone needs,  and it got me thinking about whether thats real or imagined on my part, especially if I avoid vulnerability. So I guess its something I’m working on. I know I have much to learn, and I learn so much from all of you

HUGS for Monday
Andy xxx