Exposing the Roots

What I want to talk about today is the deep stuff. Being shiny and uplifting and positive and purposeful is wonderful, and yet the truth is that we all have demons, or a big ‘issue’ buried deep within. This is true for me and I know its true for many of you too. A close friend describes it as a tree that has roots buried deep inside us. When I was in my twenties, I was fortunate enough to be exposed to great programs of self-discovery and I was able to identify my ‘issues’ and begin working on them. I did make monumental shifts at the time, but what I have realised in these past few weeks is that the roots are buried deep where you cant see under normal examination, and how far they go is anyone’s guess.
As we change and evolve and grow and let go of the crap that we doesn’t serve us, we leave an old self behind. How many skins or ‘selves’ do we shed over our lifetime? When we move through something and become the next version of ourselves, is dependent on whether we are willing to examine the roots and shift extract and learn from them. What I know for sure is that the really big triggers, the issues that stop us in our tracks, that hurt and are debilitating are taking up space in our lives and having an effect on areas that are not always obvious.
My recent reaction to a piece of news in my family, has started me on this process. It triggered anger and sadness and distress and hurt and I was blown away by the enormity of my emotional response. This is the sign. For me, I now understand that this event or these words have exposed a root. It exposed the root of a wound that I had thought had healed and turned out has not. It’s a bloody big root.

Accepting this has been challenging as intellectually I was judging myself, what is wrong with me, why am I having this response? why can’t I get ‘over it’ This morning with the help of a wonderful trusted friend, I had the awareness that this is a gift. This is an opportunity to heal something and create a new version of myself. That this wound or root, whilst lying dormant for so long has not been healthy and it takes up space. Space that is required for more of the good stuff in life like love, success, and fun.

This is an ongoing process, so I’m going to sit with the question and what I’m learning and I’m going to focus on healing and let go of the voices of judgement in my head of why I haven’t healed. I’m going to give myself that space and time as I’m determined to heal it.

What roots do you have that need tending to?