Are you a supporter or a heckler?

We have spoken often about the gripping fear of speaking in public, of standing and sharing what we do, how we help, or what we passionately believe in the world. Recently a lovely woman, new to our community shared an experience she had giving her first talk in a networking environment ( not WWA) This lady is fairly new to business and to the whole networking-connection world. It took enormous courage for her to share some of her story and what she passionately believes in. Unfortunately for this person, she was heckled or rather it would be fair to say torn down by a woman who questioned what she was sharing, and the company that this woman represented.  She explained to me that the people that were attending, came quickly to her defence, (which I was so happy to hear) and rightly advised the heckler that this was not what was appropriate for the group.  The speaker now has had an ugly experience, if she was feeling some fear or self-doubt before, Imagine whats going through her mind now!  It made me think about our responsibility in being a good listener or audience member. Sometimes we hear things we don’t agree with, or we have heard before. Do we really need to be a bitch about it? If you strongly disagree and feel that it’s so important you must impart your disagreement or feedback to the speaker, Could we not do so face to face after a speaker has finished?

I get that not everybody is the same or holds the same values. I have just noticed lately some ‘piling on’ that is not just on social media. The holier than thou judgment that we all have at times is enough, without publicly putting down our sisters.  I want to be part of communities that embrace difference. That will give every person who wants to have a go – their chance for a turn. Even if it makes us uncomfortable, or isnt perfect.
As every person who has stood to speak knows, we are already dealing with resting bitch face and trying to make our voice match our prepared speech, let’s not add someone’s load by heckling too.

For me, I’m learning not to give a **** about people who do not agree. It’s taken some time to get to this spot and I’m getting there. If I’m going to be an audience member, I will do my best to pop a smile on my face and remember that this person is displaying courage and is challenging still one of the most feared things to do and that is to speak or be vulnerable in public.

If anyone would like some help in this area, I’m conducting a one and half day workshop to help you move into this place and get yourself out there. Details are at the bottom, and let’s continue to be supportive audience members in our community – which all of us are ????

Much Love
Andy xxx

Can you hear me in the back – speaking workshop